When my father passed away several years ago, I was confronted with some hard choices. One of those choices was to buy the house I grew up in. At the time, I wasn’t in a position to pick up and move easily. So, I chose to not buy it.
It took me years to surrender to my choice of not returning. I admit, I felt regret. Letting go of my childhood home, some of which my father designed and built with his own two hands, where I’d often hold the flashlight for him, was tough.
The day came when our family began the process of cleaning out the house. If you’ve ever had to clean out your childhood home, that a parent(s) has also lived in for 50 years, you can understand that it IS a process. It’s not just a process of clearing out decades of possessions, but also memories and emotions.
Clearing out its contents was exceptionally hard. Not only was I clearing out his possessions, but much of my childhood. I found something from every decade that brought back a memory… A 1970’s empty can of Tab, a 1980’s Rubik’s Cube, and 1990’s Mustang car parts.
Things! Thoughts! Emotions! I could choose to inherit them all or not.
Over the years of doing my own inner work, I noticed that I unconsciously inherited much more than my father’s possessions. I also inherited a set of beliefs generations old. I inherited the struggles of immigration, wars, hunger, and The Great Depression to name a few. Things I’ve never experienced personally but learned through my father and that he learned through his parents. I didn’t ask for these beliefs, ways of being, cautionary tales, or survival tactics. They were seemingly unnecessary in my generation, but they were so ingrained in the energy of my father, it was impossible not to adopt them too. It’s even more difficult to recognize what you have inherited because many times they have morphed into something more contemporary.
Here's my point, you can inherit a lot of things from your parents, but what you want to be most mindful of are the ones that don’t serve you, the ones that don’t feel good, the outdated ones, the ones that create a disconnect, the ones that are unhealthy coping mechanisms, and the ones that hinder you or someone else’s growth, and anything, and I do mean anything, that picks away at your self-worth or another's self-worth.
We label them today as fear, shame, guilt, anxiousness, avoidant, perfectionism, greed, bullying, blame, regret, stagnation, addiction, racism, sinning, workaholic, apathy, defensiveness, abuse, and the list goes on.
What have you inherited? …And do you want it?
If you’re having trouble letting go of what you inherited, message me to set up a free initial "freedom from inheritance" call.